I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
