I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize