My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
