Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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