She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm just crazy horny about you
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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