Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize