Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
