Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
