Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
