on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
