I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
