And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
