Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
