Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
