I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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