One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
