Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
and she was petting her beer can
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
