I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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