She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
