i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
