I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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