No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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