Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
