mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
