Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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