he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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