At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
