I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
accomplished twins. life is a go
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
