And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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