My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
