6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
