I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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