okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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