brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
