she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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