Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
