My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I need a hoe opinion
go on
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize