I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize