Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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