ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just found puke in my bra..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize