just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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