Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
