Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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