I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
