I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize