Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
