I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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