Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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