it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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