overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
