I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
