Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize