oh god the rape fog is back!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
