If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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