You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
