addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
