NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
