K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we made out on top of his cat.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
