She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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