Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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