i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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